B-Games: They’re so bad, they’re good!

Everyone has played them. They’re the closet games. The games you really don’t talk about too much in public, in fear of being considered an outcast in the mainstream gaming world. Why would anyone dare mention these games? Because it’s time for our personal cult classics to be unleashed in all of it’s glory!

I’m a fan of bad movies. I’m also a fan of games that had potential but didn’t really get past the cutting floor. But the games usually suffer from undersales, a few bad bugs, or better yet, just ‘meh’ graphics and sounds. Sometimes, that’s the beauty of these things! For your reading pleasure, enjoy the few select titles I find to be excellent B-quality games that should get a fair trial.

It’s a mix of ‘The Sims‘, arena-shooters, and a sandbox game. You progress through the game as a guy who goes by Dude, and you have to complete “quest” given to you by your wife. Missions include getting your pay check, buying some milk at the store, stopping protesters… you know, casual things you do. However, the way the game plays out, you can ride through the game and not kill a single person. Or you can go insane, and have at it. Overall, you’re mission is to complete these jobs and report back to your base: a dirty trailer with an overweight wife as the commander.

Why the love?
Flat out, it’s one of the rudest games ever created. The first time you use a silencer to silence your rifle in Postal 2, you’ll know what I’m talking about. The amount of killing you do really desensitizes you to anything you could possibly see in future video games. I really enjoy fake, over the top bloody games. This game features a lot of that. So thumbs up.

What’s wrong with it?
It’s buggy in some areas, but it doesn’t crash. The graphics are a little dated. I think some people would consider the amount of gore in it to be a bit excessive. The story is a little forced in there. If you’re playing a good guy, the game almost forces you to go postal. And when it first came out, the load times. They sucked. Last, no multiplayer. At least until recently. (Share the Pain is free. Google it.)

It’s a game based on a movie that isn’t very good. But I’ve actually beaten this game a few times and loved it. Not because it’s a great game, or a timeless classic Star Wars title. It’s because it made the movie seem a lot more enjoyable for some odd reason. If you haven’t played it, you probably should go through it once. It’s a satisfying B-grade Star Wars title.

Why the love?
It could be killing Jar Jar Binks when it was cool to kill Jar Jar Binks. But I think the golden center of this so-so game was that it was just like you were playing the movie. Not a good movie, but the movie. The graphics weren’t the best, but I thought it was fun to slice at the wall and watch it glow from the saber’s damage to it. We’ve come a long way…

What’s wrong with it?
I played this on PC. There wasn’t any bugs. I think people just hated Episode One so much, that they couldn’t sit down and really enjoy it. From the reviews, it seems that the biggest fault is the game never makes you feel like a Jedi. Hmmm. Maybe? But I have a light saber and force push. Truly the only two moves I care about. Didn’t LucasArts make a game dedicated to pretty much just that later?

It’s like Theme Park, only way more fun! You run your own hospital, manage employees, and find diseases for patience. It’s stressful, but super addictive and fun. Oh, and it’s FREE NOW.

Why the love?
The graphics are fun to watch and the amount of comedy in the game is well-served. Aside from humor and such, the gameplay is easy yet advanced. I play this yearly, and I always discover something new I can do, or new ways to play. It’s a good game for the notebook.

What’s wrong with it?
Nothing, really. GameSpot says it’s “frustrating“. I call that realism. Dealing with customers all day, I can only imagine that running a hospital is a cause for baldness. It’s a difficult game and you feel the clock is punishing you, but that’s about it.

Well, that’s three games I know you’re rushing out to get right now. What’s some games you enjoy that the masses consider garbage?

About DryvBy


Posted on July 1, 2010, in Editorials and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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