Review: Bad Street Brawler
Classic Review from Mar 3, 2006 1:05 am
“Never trouble trouble, till trouble troubles you,” and it goes down from there.
If you find beating dogs, tall pink guys, and ducking down like a sissy to be “Bad Street Brawling” then you have another thing coming. There’s so much wrong with this game so let me begin this review by saying never buy this game, even if you want to hurt your worse enemy. It’s too painful to play.
You star as some gay guy named Duke Davis who is a former punk rawkin’ dude really to rid the world of puppy dogs, circus midgets, and gorillas. Trained in Canada, he learns the moves of a true Canadian martial arts master and beats the faces of anyone around. He has a ton of moves too… like, 10 or less. He has sweep attack, punch to the face, duck and cover, and his infamous pet the dog move. I guess animal rights activists were onto Duke’s killing of the dogs and decided to only allow him to pet them and say lines like “Nice Boy” to calm them down.
The story beings on a pink screen night, Duke is strolling through town in his Hulk Hogan pajamas, you know, looking tough, when a gang of circus people being throwing purses at him. I guess the real mystery is why the circus men are holding purses. Then some killer bulldogs attack him! Luckily with moves like duck and put your head up your butt and a basic punch, those punk faced losers will know who Duke Davis is!
After the first few levels, you get to experience a great feat… for some reason, past all the purple mohawked knife throwers, past the tall pink basketball players, and even past the detectives that show you their wangs under their trench coat, you get a much deeper game and the reason all this is happening is because Duke’s town in Buttmunchville is being taken over by evil WWI Germans! Yes, that’s right. It’s like 1980 and somehow the smart German scientist have managed to travel back in time to transport German soldiers into the modern day. Wow.
Well, if you think Duke is a loser, you’re wrong. He even has this one move where he trips midgets and… I dunno what you call it. It honestly looks like he’s being a bit naughty with the little guy. There’s also a white haired homosexual looking guy. This game is just that rad.
If you play this game, I must warn you, you too will be even more uncool than the Duke Davis. Overall, you get to kill WWI people but you’re in like 1989. The graphics suck along with the 3 moves you get per level. The characters are really gay looking and you feel like you’ve lost a part of your manhood playing this. This is one of the worst games ever made.
TL;JR: Skip this crap.
Reviewed on the Nintendo Entertainment System (NES).
Posted on February 3, 2010, in Reviews and tagged bad street brawler, beat em up, funny review, gay, matel, men in tights, nes, nintendo power glove, retro review, review. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.